A stand-up comedian is finding success on social media for the funny viral videos she shares that shine a spotlight on her life as a military spouse.
Ashley Gutermuth keeps the identity of her much older husband, a pilot in the US Air Force Reserve, a secret - partly because "he's got a big boy job" but also because his anonymity and age have become a funny feature of her videos, which have amassed more than 300 million views.
@ashgutermuth My husband is married to the military #usa#military#canadianmilitary#austraila#militarywife#militaryspouse♬ original sound - Ashley Gutermuth
Operation HEAL*ARIOUS
Ashley is a member of Best Medicine Brigade, founded by retired US Army Lieutenant Colonel Robin Phoenix Johnson who, knowing there were a lot of comedians in the military community, set up a talent agency that uses comedy to help fellow veterans restructure distressing thoughts from negative to positive.
An offshoot of this is Operation HEAL*ARIOUS, a group of comedians like Ashley who teach people, including members of the military community, how to take a negative and reframe it as a positive in the form of a joke.
The USAF spouse is inspired by many comedians such as Jerry Seinfeld, who on the Jimmy Fallon show in 2020 said Ashley performed one of his sketches "better than I ever did", and Jimmy Carr, a British comedian famous for his unique laugh and dark humour.
She said: "Jimmy Carr says you can joke about anything but not to anyone, and I like that because you're not going to walk up to somebody who has just had some horrible tragedy and... say something terrible, but you can later on.
"Operation HEAL*ARIOUS really helps with that. Anybody can benefit from it, anybody that's experienced anything negative can go through it."
Life as a military spouse
Thanks to the thousands of videos Ashley has uploaded to social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram, the comedian has amassed more than 905,000 followers, many of whom are military spouses from all over the world.
She receives messages from the partners of those who serve from the US, UK, Canada and Australia primarily, and there are often common themes such as housing problems, food insecurity and being a military spouse.
The comedian is also fiercely protective of the military community.
She particularly dislikes the word "dependa" - a slang term in the US for a military spouse who supposedly depends solely on her partner for everything.
Ashley told Forces News: "I don't say it because to me all it is a way to make fun of women, or they'll say 'depend-upon-amus'.
"That's not my humour. I don't need some tacky word that's just going to put down a group of people that are just working hard."
Using comedy, she spreads awareness of life as a military spouse, highlighting both the universal struggles and unique opportunities that come with being a part of the armed forces community.
Her videos light-heartedly deal with issues such as deployment, separation anxiety and how to make friends with fellow spouses on base.
What Ashley hopes is that her videos might inspire other military partners to create their own supportive communities, saying: "You can build your own communities with people that are military spouses around the world and share like 'hey, yeah, we have these issues too' or 'you can find an organisation that has fixed those issues'."
She also wants others in her position to remember it is vital to have your own life and create your own identity, saying: "There's tons of military spouses that... break up, they have no Social Security, no retirement.
"Do things that you like to do, remain independent, but also together – independent but supportive."
Military-grade banter
The comedian gets messages of support and admiration from fans - both from the military and civilian community - thanking her for making them smile or shining a spotlight on what it's like to have a partner in the forces.
However, not all the comments she receives are pleasant.
The comedian often receives comments claiming she's a man because of her short hair, or that her husband doesn't exist because she never shows him in her videos.
@ashgutermuth Here is a documentary of life with my husband that doesn’t exist #marriage#love#husband#man#woman#olderman♬ original sound - Ashley Gutermuth
In response, Ashley records comebacks directly speaking to the viewer with military-grade banter designed to take the heat out of the comment.
She said: "As soon as you make a joke about something it takes away its power in a way."
One of her stand-up jokes that deals with people's obsession that Ashley is a man gets a rousing response from the audience. She says: "I had to move here because of my husband's job.
"My job is convincing people I have a husband."
Spouse rank? General Troublemaker
Ashley isn't new to living in a military community.
Before becoming the wife of a pilot in the US Air Force Reserve and stepmum to a son who is now in the Naval Academy, Ashley's own grandad was a US Marine and her father was in the US Army.
Of her childhood, Ashley said: "Both my parents were helicopter mechanics and I used to go to work with them all the time, and as we would go to work I would listen to primarily British comedy.
"We would listen to Monty Python and things like that in the car. [I'm a] big Only Fools and Horses fan."
Perhaps it was inevitable then that she went to school for aviation safety and aircraft crash investigation, but when she entered the workforce she found that the job she was best at was office comedian.
She said: "I didn't take any of it seriously, I was like... you want me to do a file plan? Why, none of this matters.
"Every job I've had, I've tried to arm-wrestle my boss."
If spouse ranks were a thing, Ashley would appoint herself General Troublemaker - a nickname she proudly displays on her social media bios.
She said: "I may be right. It may be wrong. Let's find out. Let's see if we can get Ashley cancelled today."
Despite her cheeky persona online, there is a serious side to Ashley when it comes to her role as an advocate for the military community, particularly spouses.
When the comedian married her husband, she became a stepmother to his young son, which put an end to her career ambition to join the military.
She said: "It's really rare for a military person to get full custody and the judge said 'Ashley doesn't work, she can take care of him'.
"At the time I was like 'oh, I can go join the military and do this' and I'm still like writing... comedy stuff.
"And then that came along and I was like 'well, I can't because if I go and I disappear all the time, we're going to lose the kid'."
@ashgutermuth Here is a mix I made about my life as a military spouse. I’m now going to spend the rest of my day thinking about my husbands hairless ankles #miltok#military#militarytiktok#marriage#baselife♬ original sound - Ashley Gutermuth
Suddenly Ashley found herself juggling a promising career in comedy and supporting her husband while she raised a child that is, she said, "closer in age to me than I am to my husband".
The military spouse said growing up with parents in the armed forces meant she was given stun guns and throwing knives as gifts - so baking cookies and arts and crafts just aren't in her skill set when it comes to parenting her step son.
She added: "He's doing great now but he definitely wasn't raised in the way that other people were, which is fun.
"I like to be unique."
And that she certainly is.
Related topics
- Feature
- Social Media
- Fun
- Military Life
- Families
- USA
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